Perfect Peace

We've made it to 35 weeks, only by the grace of God!! I could not be more grateful for how far we've come. My prayer is that through every struggle we face, To God be the glory!

Finding peace admits the struggle...

The world's approach to finding peace "within" can seem attractive to many. Those that know me well, know that anxiety has always been a part of my life. So, finding peace is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Apparently, I'm not the only one out there considering how many pharmaceuticals are on the market to help ease anxiety. By no means am I putting down those drugs or saying they aren't useful! For goodness sakes, I need to be fully sedated to get on a plane. By sedated I mean, please knock me unconscious for the entire flight and wake me when the plane has fully landed and I can walk on solid ground again. Yup, that's me!

The world would like you to believe without taking pharmaceuticals you need to work on mind over matter. That its all up to you to find your own peace in this life. If you just meditate enough or think about all the good things in life, you'll find peace. I don't know about anyone else, but that has never worked for me. One minute your thinking of pretty fields of flowers and waves hitting the sand and all the sudden, bam, you're thinking that your little one could one day be diagnosed with a terrible illness. Or that pain you had on the left side of your head while meditating is indeed a tumor and you have 6 months to live.   Once again, that's me!

I'm often unsure that we fully understand the peace that comes from God. I think for myself and others, we think there's something that we are doing wrong if God isn't 'giving' us His peace. That there's some magic to obtaining peace from God.  Today I was reading in Isaiah and this passage spoke right to the  idea of having peace within us.

Today's verse:
Isaiah 26: 3-4
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

The phrase perfect peace means to have no inner turmoil. To have inner rest! How many of us struggle finding inner rest?? Then he goes on to say ''whose mind is stayed on you'. So, if we break this down, there are 2 parts to having this perfect peace. Our role is to keep our mind on The Lord. We often let our minds wonder and quickly drift from the one who provides ultimate peace. Putting our thoughts on our needs, desires, worries and fears. Our part in this is to keep our minds on HIM. Then He will 'keep him in perfect peace'. I'm telling you, this isn't easy for our human mind. We so often turn our thoughts to the comforting things of the world, but how often do those worldly comforts fail us! The 2nd part of the verse is about where our trust is, do you trust The Lord. Where do we often put our trust? For myself, the things that get in the way of trusting God are trusting people, finances, doctors, science, but it says 'Trust in The Lord forever'.  Through our current situation I can say, that the only way I have found peace is to set my mind on Him and to trust Him alone. That means taking my mind off google, comparison of others, my own horrid thoughts and putting my mind on the God of truth. I also have to trust in Him, as soon as I waver in this and my trust is in science or in others opinions, my peace is shaken and anxiety sets in. Just ask Dave, we go to the doctor and every time we leave he says, 'so we good now'. I usually agree and then about an hour later I'm questioning everything the doctor told me. Why, because I changed my trust from God to the doctor and my heart knows that the doctor might fail me, so anxiety sets in. The minute I put my trust back in The Lord, I'm filled with peace. I love the last part of this passage, 'the Lord God is an everlasting rock'. How amazing! Is anything we put our trust in in this world Everlasting!? We serve the Everlasting God...amen! It's my prayer, that the peace found in Him would be what I hold onto today and in all my years to come. That no matter how attractive the worlds ways to peace are, that I would know the only true way to have that 'perfect peace' is found by setting my mind on Him!

Our "youth" family

We've hit our big goal this week!! 34 weeks...yay!! I have officially been on bed rest for 10 weeks! Now to slowly transition back into life. By slowly, I mean turtle steps :) The most difficult part is I'm allowed a little more freedom but, the contractions are still very present. Therefore, making the freedom more painful than exciting. However, to God be all the glory for bringing us this far...He alone is worthy of our praise!

I've been pondering what to blog about this week and then it just hit me! This week I realized that although we have 2 biological children (one whom we can't wait to meet), we have been blessed for almost 10 years now with another set of 'kids'. Mind you these 'kids' are quickly becoming adults and most are too old to be our actual children, but the place they have in our hearts is so very special. These are the kids we've ministered to for the past 10 years. To think that I was 21 yrs old when we first started in youth ministry. There have been ups and downs along the way, but the blessing of watching God work in the lives of these young people has blessed us beyond words. Goodness, I get all blubbery just thinking about it (I know, I'm hormonal so bear with me).

Dave and I started out volunteering right after we were married. We came home from our honeymoon and we decided working alongside my brother in youth ministry would be a perfect fit. It was a transition from feeling like a kid myself, to taking real responsibility and pouring into the lives of these students. I will never forget one night playing a game with some of the kids and I had to reprimand someone and he turned to me and said, 'you're not a leader.' At the time I had nothing smart to say back, instead I tried my best to somehow prove that I was in fact a leader. I'm pretty sure 10 years later that my mistaken identity would no longer be an issue. I'd welcome the mistaken identity now :) There are so many stories I could share...and pictures :)

Over the years, each of these students has held a special place in our hearts. We have watched them grow in ways we never thought imaginable. The moments when you think that there is no way what you're saying or doing is making any difference and then years later you get the 'thank you' that fills your heart with pure joy. Seeing so many of these students now adults, embarking on the world and serving Christ in such amazing ways is incredible. Watching many enter the ministry, serving in local ministry and actively living a life for Christ has blessed us so very much. We are so thankful for the ministry God has called us to and that He has used us in some small way to reach students for Him.

I hope all that have crossed our path know how much we love them and that they are forever in our hearts. We hope they always remember that they are not alone in this life no matter what they face. We serve a living God who never leaves us!  It's our prayer that each of these students, some now grown and raising their own families, will always know that they are our family. Each so unique and so very loved not only by us, but by our awesome God!

Love of my Life

It's been quite a week of sickness on top of bed rest here and we are thankful to be on the upswing of things. This week had me beyond grateful for my wonderful family and most of all my amazing husband. I suppose this could be a Valentine's entry the more I think about it.

Dave and I met 11 years ago on our college campus of Philadelphia Biblical University. Our first time hanging out together was at a Super Bowl party at my parents house. (I'll have to locate some pictures). Our first official date was on Valentine's Day. The week prior, Dave had left a piece of a poem he had written in my college mailbox each day leading up to our date. On Valentines's Day he arrived at my door with gifts in hand, but the most special of those was the completed poem he had written. I still remember my favorite word in that poem.  It was 'Cherish'. He was so sincere and that simple word showed me just how special he was. This was a date unlike any other.  We started at the fanciest of Italian restaurants, where we had course after course of delicious food that I could barely enjoy because I was so nervous. Then we went off to Philadelphia's center city to Cozi's which may have been Xandos back then. After the coffee shop we walked around center city where we had our first kiss in front of City Hall. I just remember Dave saying he couldn't believe he was on a date with me.  He was so genuine and I was amazed by the whole evening. I remember going back to my apartment that night and all the girls rushing in my room to ask about my evening. That's where it all began.

The thing that impressed me the first time I met Dave was his selflessness and his desire to reach others with the gospel. I quickly learned of all Dave and his family had been through with the loss of his parents so close together.  Hearing his story and his desire to reach people, I knew he was going to do amazing things for The Lord. (Mind you...before heading to bible college, I had one vow...don't marry a pastor and God laughed).  Well, I never thought all those years ago that life would bring us here, but I'm so thankful for each moment we've shared.

We have had quite a whirlwind during the last 9 1/2 years of marriage.  We've lived in 5 different homes and 2 different states. We've experienced almost loosing my mom to a brain aneurysm, followed by our first miscarriage. Then to find out we were expecting our sweet Bella and buying our first home. Seeing my brother off to Iraq and thankfully having him return to us one year later. To the loss of a job and our unexpected move, which ended up being God's perfect plan and place for us.  To a second miscarriage. To the exciting news of our sweet baby girl (who we can't wait to meet). To the roller coaster ride of this pregnancy and most recently the loss of our first home. To all that I say, 'to God be the Glory'.  Through each of these things I can say our God has remained faithful and we have grown closer to Him. I've seen these experiences grow each of us closer to The Lord and therefore closer to each other. I've also seen Dave grow leaps and bounds as he has continued his ministry of reaching people with the gospel.

That selfless man I met 11 years ago has never shown himself more selfless than he has in the past few months. I've seen him take on the roll of both daddy and mommy with Bella without missing a beat. He starts his day with making breakfast for everyone. Making sure we are all dressed and the beds are made. He makes sure I have all I might need for the day in his absence. He does Bella's school work with her (which isn't much, but it's usually momma's job). He has taken over bath time, which includes brushing and blow drying Bella's hair. He makes sure Bella is prepared for any special activities going on at school. He takes me to and from doctors appointments. He was even setting his own alarm at night to get up and give me my medicine (I'm sure he's thankful that's over). He has made dinner on those nights (which are rare) that no one is bringing us food.  He has taken me to the hospital multiple times, never leaving. These past 2 weeks he had to care for Bella while she had the stomach bug, being up all night and doing laundry around the clock. Then he had to care for me when I came down with the same thing. Wondering if we would need to go to the hospital and staying up once again, through the night. I am not even skimming the surface of what he's been doing. All you mom's know all we do, so you can only imagine. Not to mention...I'm a bit on the high maintenance end :)  I'm not sure there is enough I could ever do to thank this man, who I know would give up his own life for his family. He has shown me what it is to truly love someone and in the most selfless of ways.

You never know what will come your way in this life and I know what we have faced is quite small in comparison to what many others have gone through. I just pray that our lives are a constant testimony of what The Lord is doing in our lives. We both pray that He is glorified and we would always remember that each blessing we are given is not deserved, but graciously given by our loving God.